I wish you wouldn't grow up as fast as you both are growing up now.
Not because I am not proud of you both. On the contrary, you surprise me with your accomplishments everyday. I didn't know kids can become so smart so fast. At this rate you'd look at me like an outdated windows XP computer by the time you turn 10.
But I am not afraid of that either. I don't care about you not caring for me. As long as you care for your happiness.
Nor am I jealous. You have my blood, remember. Not me yours. So I will always have that on you, for good or for bad. So no, not jealous or afraid or angry. I don't want to see you grow so fast because you are so much fun being the little rascals you are.
Maturity kills fun, unless we are very careful to guard it and don't lose it for the sake of worldly attractions.
I know, I've been there. I have lost my curiosity and joy after I grew up. And now that I have seen the reality of such infatuations, I am quite invested in waking up my inner child and keeping that fire glowing. Because that is true joy of life. Most of the things that happen after you grow up are not worth it. They just take away the life and fun, the joy and excitement. And the things you gain are not worth the things you sacrifice. Not in the least.
Friendships that don't deserve you, entertainment that just drains life, curriculum for the sake of marks and relationships to mimick bad movies. Not worth it in hindsight. They are irresistible in the moment of heat and it is ok if you don't recognize it for what it is, in that moment. I have not either and mistakes are where you grow.
But I am afraid that as you grow up and grow wordly, you'd lose your sights on what really matters, only to realise your loss twenty years later. Making mistakes is ok. But if you can keep your inner joy and spirit kindled and glowing, then your mistakes will be worthwhile as well. As I think mine have been, if I say so myself.
I want you to be child in spirit as you grow older and I want to do whatever I can to help in that. I only wish you'd let me help!
